Is Fear Holding You Back?
Oct 20, 2018
It is Halloween time and there are some pretty gnarly billboards and comercials out right now. They always make me feel queasy and anxious and, yes, even a bit afraid. I just don't like the scary things. Give me a cute fairy and superman at the door trick-or-treating any day, but you can keep the scary movies and terror billboards. Ick. These fears are just external fears however. I know in my mind that they aren't real things and that I'm a grown-ass lady who can choose what to expose herself to. I think the more devastating and paralyzing are the internal fears.
Have you ever been asked to do something and just knee-jerk reaction you said no. For example, maybe someone asked you to take on a new challenging client? Or to give a talk? Or accept an award that would get you more recognition and responsibility? Or asked you to take on a new responsibility at home? Did you say no because you were nervous and afraid that you couldn't do it? Or, shouldn't do it?
It is so much easier to see the gifts and talents in others. "Wow, she is so creative!" "Wow, he is so talented!" "Wow, she is so smart!" "How do they do that, I'm just struggling to keep my head above water." We often don't see ourself in the same light that others do. And when we are asked to stretch and do more, we say NO out of fear. Fear that we don't have the abilities. Fear we really aren't qualified. Fear we will be exposed as not being that great. Fear that we are a fraud.
But think on this... If they asked you, they see in you the strength and light and ability to succeed. So you just need to look in yourself and find that Yes! Yes! I deserve to succeed! Yes I deserve to try something new and be challenged! Yes I want this new opportunity to grow and get even better!
Where is your Yes? Where do you need to really take a look at your life and see your gifts?
Our brick & mortar healing clinic is in downtown Portland, OR. Often people will come into our office (perhaps because it is calm and happy and welcoming) and ask if we validate. I say Yes! "You are amazing! You are a gift to this world! You are gorgeous inside and out!" Now, I know that they are at first referring to parking, but I know my style of validation is much more important that the parking fee. My words have a longer lasting impact on their lives and psyche. I am encouraging them. I am filling them up with courage and strength and belief in themselves. Are you encouraged today? Start by encouraging others first, then you too will be filled up and better able to see your own gifts. Releasing someone from their internal fear with just a kind word or phrase is so powerful. And doesn't take but a second. I make a habit of going through my contacts in my phone and sending an encouraging text or email each day to someone I know. (Maybe I should extend this to strangers I meet too.) Think of your encouragement like a shield you are giving to someone. An inner shield that protects them from that critical voice in their head telling them they can't, or they aren't good enough. That fear that lives in them and tries to hold them back in this life. We can defeat the internal fear by encouraging each other. Find the strength in yourself too. You need to be your own best friend and encourage yourself.
As a fun exercise, take out a piece of paper right now and spend 5 minutes just quickly jotting down everything that is good and great about yourself. It might take a bit to get started so I'll help you:
You are amazing
You are kind
You are beautiful
You are smart
You are well equipped to run your race in this life
You have a loving heart
You are a conqueror
Keep your shield up and protecting you from fear. You have a lot to do in this life and the world needs your special gifts and talents.